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Gnashing My Teeth
by Kate Sanger
And there was much Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth
Gnashing your Teeth is when you keep trying so Hard not to Cry but you’re Destroyed Inside and your teeth just can’t Meet each other anymore.
It’s when all you want is to Die and you’ll Never Be Happy Again (even though you will, you just don’t know it yet) and your world might as well End because there is Just No Point In Living Anymore.
It’s when you’ve been Betrayed Deep In Your Heart and it Hurts So much. Nothing EVER Hurt like that Before.
And you sit there and Gnash Your Teeth and Cry and want to Get Away From It All.
So you go for A Drive. To See what you can See. And cry some more.
you drive to visit your Friend. who isn’t Home.
So you call your Other Friends. they’re Not Around either. they have Better Things To Do. they have Lives. So you cry some more.
And you Gnash Your Teeth until you are sure they will become embedded in each other and you can Feel them Breaking and Smashing and you’re Happy that they Are. You are Thrilled to be so Wonderfully Miserable and Unhappy and You Really Want To Die.
then you calm down somewhat and you realize that things could be worse and all that wailing and gnashing was really Unnecessary and Unavoidable.
so you live.
Because you Have To. You Have To keep on going and going.
And you know you’ll Gnash and Cry Again and Again and Again and Again but it’s all Okay.
Because maybe Then again maybe
you Won’t.
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