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A Match Made Out of Heaven By Kate Sanger She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, reaching for her towel. It was almost in her hand before she noticed him. He was standing off to her right. A small, squat, round balding man holding a very large carving knife. "Uhhhhh," was all he managed to say. "Excuse me," she said, wrapping herself in the towel. "Can I help you?" "Um yeah. Yeah, you can. I suppose you've probably heard of me. I go around murdering women in the shower...." He let the sentence trail off. "Oh yes, of course! You're the one I read about in the paper! The Shower Stalker. Or is it the Shower Slayer? I'm sorry, I can't quite remember." He blushed. "The Slayer, actually. But that's okay. It's rather nice that you've heard of me. There isn't a description of me yet. None of my victims have lived long enough." He paused. She began toweling her hair dry. "I don't suppose you could get back in the shower and turn the water back on, could you?" "Why?" "I only kill women while they're showering." "Hmm." She thought for a moment. "I'd love to help you, but I really can't. I have to get going. I have a rather busy day planned." "But it won't take any time at all," he protested. "Besides, you'll be dead afterwards, so it won't matter that you didn't get anything done." This brilliant piece of logic made perfect sense to him, but still she hesitated. She began to brush her hair. "No, I'm sorry. I can't miss any of it. If you insist, I guess you could just kill me, shove me back into the shower, and turn the water on." She tried to be helpful. She really did. He shook his head and sighed. "No good. It wouldn't do. It's just not the same. I won't do slip-shod work. A man has to have something to be proud of nowadays." She nodded agreement as she slipped in two pearl earrings. She started dressing. He sighed heavily and sat down on the closed toilet seat. She looked over at him. He looked so lost and forlorn. "You could always come back later," she suggested. She buttoned up her shirt, pulled on her skirt, and grabbed her bag. "I have to leave now. You can let yourself out." She rushed out the door and to the awaiting Hyundai. She woke up early the next morning and drew a bubble bath. She was halfway through the newest Anne Rice/Danielle Steele/John Grisham/Tom Clancy Compendium - Lestat's Treasure in the Client's Chamber of Red October when the shower curtain was thrown open with great force. She looked up. A rather shame-faced slayer stood there. He lowered the knife. A scowl creased his face. "This isn't fair!" "What isn't fair?" "You're not showering - you're bathing! There's a massive difference." He looked up at the ceiling imploringly. "What am I supposed to do now?" "I don't suppose you want to kill me in the bath, do you?" He shook his head miserably. "It just wouldn't do." "I don't suppose you want to make another trip back here tomorrow?" "No. I do have other things to do you know. You're not the most important thing in my life. I can't keep waiting and trying." "Well pardon ME." She began to get huffy. "I'm just trying to help. If that's not good enough for you, well, you can just leave." She yanked the shower curtain closed. There was silence for a minute. "I'm sorry," he muttered gruffly from the other side. "I'm just getting impatient. I guess I'll have to come back." He shuffled out dejectedly. She cried herself to sleep that night. She took long, slow showers the next three days, but he didn't reappear. Another week passed. She gave up on waiting for him. She took another bath. Of course, he showed up. He trudged into the bathroom. She heard him before she saw him. She moved back the curtain. He sighed when he saw her. He wasn't even holding the knife at the ready. She got out of the bath and rushed to his side. "You're back! Do you want me to start showering?" He shook his head. "It's too late now. I've given up on killing you." She was crushed. "You don't want to kill me anymore?" Tears welled up behind her eyes. "No. I'm sorry." He sighed again, then knelt down on one knee next to her. He took her hand in one of his, reached his other hand into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet jewelry box. "Will you marry me?" She grabbed him in a bear hug, startling him so much his knife fell to the ground. "I thought you'd never ask." She kissed him. He kissed her. They took a shower. |