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The Gospel of Yellow and Pink
By Kate Sanger “It’s a code,” he whispered to me as I slinked past him, minding my own business and not making eye contact. “It’s a code if you take the time to figure it out.” He smiled at me; a weird empty smile that never made it to his eyes. I nodded, acknowledging that I’d heard him while making soft non-committal noises. He wasn’t fooled. “You’ll only see it when it’s too late,” he snarled. “You’ll be sorry then, but it won’t help.” I nodded again, looking for an opening to slip away. I’d been warned about him since my first day on the job. Everyone said that you were safe as long as you didn’t talk to him. He’d never done anything violent or hurt anyone, but no one was sure how long that would last. We weren’t allowed to kick him out. The parent company was afraid of lawsuits. The only people that could be removed were those that had already been violent or those that were repeat shoplifters. And he wasn’t technically a shoplifter -- he never took anything from the store. He just sat there with his yellow and pink highlighters, marking passages in books. He’d lost interest in me, and was absorbed in his books again, yellow highlighter flashing as he sought out the words he wanted. He muttered under his breath, soothing himself. I took a few steps back and forced myself not to run to the storeroom. Ever since quitting my job at the Pack ‘N Sack I’d been running low on funds. I had some cash reserves, but they were limited and trying to pay rent and tuition while eating my three squares a day made it obvious that I needed a job. When Gloria suggested that I get a job at Barnaby’s Books with her, I considered it. “There are much fewer weird-o’s,” she coaxed. “Plus, there aren’t half as many robberies.” Thinking back on my last robbery, one that involved some completely incoherent guy with a large gun, made the job at the bookstore much more attractive. Even if that last guy was cute, he was insane and armed. At least at the bookstore most of the cute guys could read. That wasn’t true for most of my customers at the Pack ‘N Sack, so I had to consider the bookstore as a step in the right direction. I applied and got the job. English majors normally make good employees at bookstores, I was told at the interview. They read a lot and are friendly to the customers. I didn’t tell them about the customer that committed suicide on my shift at the Pack ‘N Sack. They didn’t ask about it, so I thought it was best to keep it to myself. They never mentioned the guy with the highlighters, so I figured we were even with each other. Gloria wasn’t in the stockroom when I got there, but Lori was. “He’s out there again,” I warned her. “He’s in the science fiction area today, and it looks like he has about 10 books out.” She rolled her eyes at me. “Well, just be sure to find them later and strip them. We’ll need to send the covers in so we can get credit for them.” “He talked to me.” She stopped emptying the box of new bestsellers onto the cart. “He did? What did he say?” She was watching me, waiting for my response. “He told me that it was a code, but that by the time we figured it out, it’d be too late.” “A code?” She shook her head. “He’s insane. Last week he did romance, for chrissake. There’s a code in romance books?” I held up my hands. “I didn’t say he was right, I just told you what he said. I think he’s crazy, too, you know. Maybe he’s schizophrenic or something, hearing voices and seeing hidden messages. Can we throw him out yet?” She shook her head. “Nope. Corporate still says he isn’t a danger. But maybe now that he’s talked to you.” She paused, thinking. She started unloading the books again. “Tell you what, I’ll call Maria. Ask her if she can go back to her boss again. Maybe they’ll give us permission now. We can say he was harassing you. Did you feel harassed?” I thought about it. It wasn’t harassment, but I wanted to get rid of the guy. He gave me the creeps, always sitting there harrumphing and coughing and hacking, wearing a rain slicker, even on sunny days, and carrying those highlighters and god knows what else in his shopping bag. And he was so intent on the books. “Yeah. Yeah, I felt harassed.” Maybe it was true. I couldn’t be sure. I was scared. Did that count? “Good. You go ahead and finish emptying this and then put them up on the back wall. I’ll go call her now.” I sighed and got to work. I couldn’t avoid drudgery. No matter where I worked, there were always boxes to be unloaded. I got the books on the cart in record time and pushed it out to the store, avoiding the science fiction area. I was halfway through shelving them when Lori came back, beaming at me. “We got permission! We can have him thrown out. Maria said corporate won’t have a problem with it, now that he’s actually accosted one of the staff members.” “But he didn’t –“ I started to say. I wanted him gone, but I didn’t like lying. “Okay, I embellished a little. But it doesn’t matter; we can kick him out now. Let’s go see if he’s still there.” Lori grabbed my apron and pulled me away from the wall. I trailed after her, still holding onto the books I’d been trying to put up. I was half hoping he’d be gone so I wouldn’t have to face him again. He was still there with a new pile of books. His finished stack was behind him, and there were another half dozen books in front of him. He was staring at his current one, licking him lips, muttering. His eyes flashed back and forth across the page. Every few seconds his hand came up and he marked something. Lori pushed me back behind a rack of reference books. “I’m going to go call the police. This is so great! We can finally get rid of the guy!” She took off, headed for the back office and I went to the wall to finish putting up the books. The cart was almost empty. Only half of the bottom row was left. I turned to the wall to fix a face-out, and when I turned back to the cart he was there. He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back into the wall. The edges of the plastic holders on the wall dug into my back. My breath was trapped in my throat. I looked from side to side, hoping to spot someone, but for a change the chairs near the wall were deserted. “It’s not too late,” he hissed at me from between clenched teeth. “You can still save yourself. Read this.” He shoved a book at me, dropping it into the front pocket of my apron. He released me, and I sagged away from the wall, trying to catch myself on legs that were struggling to hold weight. He stalked through the racks, carrying his shopping bag, and disappeared behind the humor section. I went back to putting the books on the shelves, trying not to think about what had happened. He seemed so worried, so convinced that I needed saving. I let my hand fall down into my apron pocket and took out the book he had dropped there. It was a romance -- a stripped romance he had obviously taken from the dumpster out back. I shook my head and let the book fall back into my apron. I’d throw it out when I left. By the time the police arrived and Lori found me, he was long gone. I didn’t tell them what had happened or what he’d said. There was no point in telling anyone about it now. He was banned from the store and the police would be enforcing it. There was nothing to worry about. But I still found my hand slipping down to touch the book in my apron pocket as I pushed the cart back to the stockroom. I got off at 5:30 and dropped my apron into the stack, slipping the book into my purse. I knew I should have just tossed it into the dumpster, but I couldn’t. Just a little peek, I told myself. After my homework was done. It would make me feel better to make sure he really was crazy. There wasn’t anything wrong with that was there? After all, I was the reason he was banned. My apartment was sweltering. The air conditioner had died again. I opened the windows that weren’t painted shut and turned on the fan I had for just these little emergencies. I made myself a baloney sandwich with the last of the bread and sat down on the couch, books and a notebook spread out on the coffee table. I ate with one hand while I read and took notes with the other. I had too much homework. I always did. Working and going to school took a lot out of me, but I only had one semester left and knew I could make it through. After that, who knew? I’d need a better job to pay back the student loans, but I didn’t need to worry about that yet. It was almost 10 when I gave up on my homework. For the last hour I’d been staring at my purse. I decided to take a break. I needed to relax, and a romance novel would be perfect for that. I dove for my purse and pulled it out. Since it had been stripped there was no cover on it, and he hadn’t marked anything on the title page or the page full of rave reviews from other romance writers. I flipped to the first page, getting settled back in on the couch, sipping my water. I had only gotten through the first 15 pages when it hit me. He was right. There was a code. You only had to look for it. I sat up all night with the marked passages. I didn’t move from my spot. The air turned cold. I could feel goose bumps all over my arms, but I didn’t get up to close the windows or turn off the fan. I ran out of water, but I ignored my thirst. I read, and re-read, and re-read again. When the light came back and the day warmed up, I looked up at the clock. The bookstore was open. I called Lori and quit, told her I wouldn’t be back again. I couldn’t stand being in the bookstore anymore, knowing what I knew. The books would just be mocking me, hiding their secret in plain sight. I understood him now. It must have been hard for him, knowing, understanding, showing the code to everyone who just ignored him and called him crazy. Kicked him out of their stores. I knew what I needed to do. I dug my highlighters out of my backpack and headed to the library at school. I brought pink for death, yellow for life. Soon they would all know. They would have to know. Judgment was upon us.
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