"The chair was blood red"

"How original."

"Well it was."

"Of course."

"Look--"

"Everything with you…"

"I can't help it."

"Try."

"Your mother called this morning."

"Sigh."

"Don't think she got ten words before 'grandchildren'."

"Fuck."

"Suggested ways we should do that too."

"Oh god."

"Um…"

"Sorry."

"No, I understand. Anyone inspires a call on a supreme being, it's your mother."

"Siding's splitting."

"What, again?"

"I told you, the contractor's an asshat."

"Apparently."

"He kept wanting to talk to you."

"Should have invited him back later."

"He's a smoker."

"Nasty."

"I know."

"But the siding--"

"He thinks it's the sun."

"The sun."

"Yeah."

"Lydia bought another Barbie."

"Thought she quit?"

"Addiction."

"Hmm."

"This one talks."

"Talks? If Barbie could talk, you just know she'd sound like a three dollar crackwhore. That, or she'd rip off those boobs and go GTA rampage. Which, come to think, doesn't require talking."

"She has Ken pussy-whipped."

"That wasn't hard."

"Hear he isn't either."

"Started the quilt yesterday."

"Oh?"

"Got pricked more than Sleeping Beauty on tour with the football team."

"Did you bleed?"

"Fuck."

"Yes."

"You can't go more than--"

"No, I can't. You know what I--"

"Bite me."

"Finally."