How to Determine If There’s a God on the Return Flight to Philadelphia from Orlando

This is how to determine if there's a God
when you're on the return flight to Philadelphia
from Orlando--
Think about those plane crash survivors in the Andes
who existed solely on snow and
the fried remains of their dead companions.
When rescued,
some newsman, thinking it was the press' duty,
asked, "So, what did they taste like?"
And one survivor, who thought things
couldn't possibly get any worse, answered:
"Like pork."
And you wonder how in the hell
the Orthodox Jew sitting next to you
is going to eat anyone if you crash land
in the wilderness between Orlando and Philadelphia
when the pilot comes on and says,
"We will be experiencing some turbulence."
And then you wonder:
Why do people taste like pork?
Do apes taste like pork?
And, if they don't, does that mean
people really descended from pigs
because people and pigs have similar tastes?
And you know no one else cares
but you do, intensely, because there's no way
you can find out for sure.
And now, when you're ready to scream
about why people taste like pork
and trees falling alone in the forest
and the rock so big God couldn't push
that's exactly when
you'll determine that there's a God
when you're on the return flight to Philadelphia from Orlando
because that's the moment when
you'll hear Him laugh.