"Here's the thing, Sheala, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met.
 You're also funny, intelligent, the sex is fantastic, and you certainly have an interesting career, but I just don't think I can date you anymore."

"Why, Karl?  What's the problem?"

"Well, let me ask you a question first: what do you consider your job description as High Priestess of Hurl?"

"I provide spiritual guidance to my followers."

"And how often does one of these followers come seeking spiritual advice?"

"I don't know, maybe once a month or so."

"That's not too often.  So what exactly do you do with all your spare time?"

"You know, not much."

"Well, you see, I've been doing a little research lately.  For example, your first boyfriend was Rorr the Daring, correct?"

"Rorr was a wonderful man, don't bring him into this!"

"Just humor me for a moment, please, won't you, Sugarcup?"

"All right."

"Can you explain to me how he died?"

"He died valiantly defending the world from an invasion of the ancient King Darbur and his unholy army of the dead.  He defeated King Darbur in hand-to-hand combat but faded into a wraith shortly after from the wounds
he received."

"Doesn't sound like a particularly pleasant way to die now, does it?"

"No it doesn't, and it's a painful memory I'd rather not discuss it anymore."

"I understand, Sheala, but could you just tell me one thing?  How did King Darbur and his undead army come back from the dead in the first place?"

"(Cough.)  I don't exactly remember."

"I think you do."

"All right, I summoned them."

"And why exactly did you summon them?"

"Well, I found an ancient prophecy that said whoever summoned King Darbur would control his evil army and conquer the world.  Only it didn't quite work out that way.  He controlled the army himself and tried to conquer the world.  It was an honest mistake, Karl, anyone could have made it. Now can we please quit talking about it, those times are long past.  All I want is to have you by my side!"

"OK, but just for a moment, I'd like to discuss your second boyfriend, Merl the Strong."

"What about him?"

"Didn't he die?"

"He was a gallant warrior and died a warrior's death."

"Exactly what do you mean by 'warrior's death'?  Would you care to explain?"

"No, I don't think I would."

"I heard he was killed when he destroyed the heartstone of the demon Amk.  The heartstone exploded, killing them both.  Does that ring a bell?"

"Yes, I told you he died a brave death."

"Sounds like quite an amazing man.  But why would he want to kill the demon Amk?"

"(Sigh.)  Amk was a high demon from another plane of existence who came to our world to destroy it.  Merl saved us all, killing him just moments before his materialization became final, which would have made him invincible.  Is that what you wanted to know?  Are you going to say anything bad about him now?"

"Oh no, I'm sure he was a wonderful fellow.  I was more curious how Amk came to enter our plane of existence.  You're the High Priestess of Hurl, is it possible for demons to just come and go as they please?"

"Well, theoretically no."

"Then how do they get here?"

"Um, they have to be (mumble mumble).

"Excuse me, I didn't quite catch what you said."

"I said they have to be summoned or something!"

"And who would summon an evil demon like Amk?"

"Look, I see where you're going with his, and I don't think it's very funny.  What exactly does this have to do with us?"

"Just tell me, what would make you summon an immortal, vengeful demon to our world?"

"It's what a High Priestesses does, all right!"

"Exactly!  That's what I thought."

"(Silence.)"

"Now, are you planning on summoning any malevolent creatures in the near future?"

"(Silence.)"

"Sheala?"

"No."

"Then can you tell me why you sent me on that quest for the horn of the fabled Riginos?"

"Just a whim.  You know, every once and a while a girl just likes to feel loved."

"Really?  What about the blood of the great beast of Rin I battled for last week?"

"Just a little something that was missing among my supplies, that's all."

"Because I started asking around, and it looks like those are two of the necessary components for summoning the evil god Gry, destroyer of worlds."

"(Cough.)  Can't say I've ever heard of him."

"Sorry Sheala, I'm a courageous man, but you have a serious problem with the black arts, or relationships -- or both!"

"Please don't go, Karl the Brave!  Who is going to save us?"

(Door slams.)