i.

Gwennie the good-hearted ghoul
did her best to avoid being cruel.
She offered to mate
with the men that she ate
and then let them drown in their drool.

ii.

Nanette the near-sighted ghost
was frequently witnessed to boast
that her spectral sneer
froze mortals with fear.
In fact, she was haunting a post.

iii.

Maureen the malingering mummy
felt aches in her kidneys and tummy.
"I feel pale and drawn,
but my organs are gone!
So why do I still feel so crummy?"

Said her doctor: "In matters of health,
the issue's not absence, but wealth.
You've got too much time
to moan, groan and whine.
You're too wrapped up in yourself."