My Sweetie Wears... Poetry Contest Winners

First Place:

Night Range by S. D. Matley

My sweetie wears a Stetson
Every night when he goes to bed.
To hold the shape of his six-inch brim
He stacks four pillows ‘neath his head.

It’s not his hat that ails me,
It’s the boots and spurs besides.
It ruins my sleep when he shouts “giddyup”
And plants rowels in my sides.

It’s insomnia in Cowboy Dreamland,
Where they don’t tolerate counting sheep.
My sweetheart, he lopes beside me
And sometimes mounts me up in his sleep.

When he yodels out before dawning
I’m lathered from that wild ride.
I should have heeded my mother’s advice:
“Don’t be a cowboy’s bride!”                              

Bio: A Pacific Northwest native, Susan D. Matley writes short speculative fiction, poetry and songs. She currently holds a fantastically fun “day job” as Cimarron Sue, cowgirl singer and bass player, in the duo Nevada Slim & Cimarron Sue with husband Bruce Matley (yep, he really grew up on a Nevada cattle ranch). They reside in Prescott, WA (population 312) with cat Arial (meaning “Lion of God,” and she backs it up with gusto).  Learn more about Susan at www.nevadaslim.com. And yes, the poem Night Range has been set to music . . .

Second Place:

My Sweetie by Richard Cornelius

My Sweetie wears the kinds of clothes
That make a man look twice.
They tell a guy she understands
The naughty side of nice.

The boys enjoy her skirts because
They're mostly of the sort
That aren't as long as one might think
When told a skirt is short.

Her neckline plunges toward her waist
And does more than suggest.
Look closely guys, 'cause you can see
The curve of each full breast

In case you failed to notice, I've
Not mentioned underwear.
The reason (you can double check):
There isn't any there!

My Sweetie's clothes are nice enough,
But I enjoy her smile.
And I look forward to the day
She wears one down the aisle.

Bio: After 25 years as a chemistry professor in the U.S., Richard Cornelius lives in New Zealand where he owns a secondhand book store and writes poetry when he finds the time.  He has recently completed a book of poems for children, complete with an audio CD of him reading the poems, embellished with music and sound effects.  When that is published (probably by August 2007), you can learn more about it at his web site (http://www.corneli.us).

Third Place:

Succor by Cathy C. Hall

My sweetie wears a garlic scent

That twines about her face.
It wraps its fingers round her throat,
Just like a ribbon laced.

And so I watch her from afar,
My lust on her neck traced.
I’d give a thousand years or more
To have but one sweet taste!

Bio: Cathy C. Hall is a humor columnist from the metro Atlanta area. Sometimes, her humor takes a macabre detour. But that's probably what keeps her sane.

For a few laughs, read STRIRRED CRAZY, at SanityCentral.com or INSIDE OUT at OurTownMag.org. Or buy Loving the Undead: An Anthology of Romance, Sort of.

Honorable Mentions:

Chores by Eric Jepson

My Sweetie wears out every evening around six o’clock
It’s not so much that I need to replace the breasts
(again)
(though I do)
but that she’s simply worn out.

So I spend all night tinkering with her.

Oil, rubber washers, that ever-rusted hinge in her elbow.

I need to just go get me a new one.

I need to learn my lesson.

I need to stop shopping at Wal-Mart.

Bio: Eric W Jepson takes pride from the little things--such as being able to wiggle his ears and (thus far) avoiding violent death. He homesteads online at thmazing.com.

Hunger by Mark Robyn

My Sweetie wears me out sometimes
With her constant cries for meat
Give me flesh!
Give me bones!
Anything to eat!

And so I go out killing things,
anything that moves;
men, women, children,
dogs chickens, cats
to shove in her mouth for food.

Some day I’ll run out
of living things to find
and that gives me cause for worry;
on that day,
I’ll run away,
or she’ll start eating me!

Bio: Mark Robyn lives in Fircrest, Washington with his wife and two children where he works as a Nuclear Work Inspector for the Navy.  A lifelong lover of science fiction and horror, he began writing in junior high but put his literary aspirations aside to pursue a career.  Mark returned to writing within the last five years.  He has stories published in ChimeraWorld 4, the Writer’s Post Journal, and many other small webzines.